PPC is Bullshit

It has been my displeasure to recently have come across some companies that are delivering an amazing low cost ‘affordable’ marketing solution. These companies target small businesses who perhaps may not know enough about online marketing to understand exactly what it is they are being sold.

Bullshit PPC companies tend to use a common sales pitch:

• Guaranteed 1st page listings within 24 hours
• Up to 5 search phrases (you get more depending on the package, usually bronze, silver gold)
• From just £89.99 per month!
• No minimum contract
• Your website will appear in Google every day – guaranteed!
• Regular monthly reports

That sounds really good to the average small online business who is just getting to grips with online marketing. Especially when the above is repeated in an aggressive sales phone call. Verbally, they may even tell you that they ‘are part of ‘ Google. What they mean is they have an adwords account. They may also have staff members that have taken the Google Professional exam (this badge does not mean they have gone through any QC by Google, it just means they knew the answers to the questions!)

So, let’s address the common messages that we see on the websites for these companies.

Guaranteed 1st page listings within 24 hours

When you start any PPC campaign, the results are pretty instant. So your website WILL appear within 24 hours. It’s not hard to replicate that. YOU could set up the campaign yourself and get 1st page listings within 24 hours.

Up to 5 search phrases

A search phrase is exactly that and just because it’s used it doesn’t mean it will bring you any money.

Your company name is probably used as a search phrase but more often than not your website will already rank for that naturally. So if your name was included as a search phrase used for PPC (which I’ve seen happen), those same customers who previously clicked your natural listing will now click your sponsored ad instead. And your daily click spend is used up on those. Sounds great doesn’t it?

From just £89.99 per month!

Lets break that down. Spread over 31 days that is just under £3 per day. You didn’t think they will manage the campaign for free, right? So your actual maximum daily click spend could be set as low as £1. It gets better. If the PPC provider forgets to click the ad Somedays the ad won’t even be clicked so the £1 isn’t even spent. Who’s pocket do you think the surplus goes into?

No minimum contract

The bullshit PPC company cottoned on that not holding clients to a minimum contract helps to gain trust. You feel better about it when you aren’t committing to pay for 12 months, right? But what do you think happens when you want to cancel? Well, you will probably have to speak with a pitbull in retentions/sales who’s job it is to grind you down. They will keep on at you to get you to just stay for a few more months.

They may promise meaningless extras painted as fantastic freebies. Examples of this are “inclusion in the content network – FREE”. Not only is this just a check box in the campaign management area (an option that EVERYONE gets for free) but it’s also not always a good idea especially for such a low budget campaign. Your ad will now appear on trashy adsense sites. Woohoo!

So, if you actually have the energy to last to the death and they accept you want to cancel the pitbull MAY at that point remind you of the T&C’s that state your cancellation is required in writing (not email, not a fax, but a real letter by snail mail to their head office. The date of cancellation is taken from the date they say it was received the letter was received at the office. By then you are probably into the next months provision and your credit card has been charged. You are stuck with them for almost another 2 months.

If you try and challenge this you will be referred to the T&C’s and told it was your responsibility to make sure you follow the cancellation procedure.

Some people successfully challenge the ‘contract’ but most of you will take it on the chin and put it down to experience.

Your website will appear in Google every day – guaranteed!

You would have to literally go out of your way to set up an adwords campaign that doesn’t generate ANY impressions for any search phrases. Just one impression and the company has delivered what was promised. Amazing, right?

Regular monthly reports

You will get a pretty table that has numbers on it. They will look impressive but they are just numbers. Probably copied and pasted, maybe even edited to look really good because you wouldn’t know otherwise since you don’t have access to the REAL Google report (which you should have, FOR FREE).

Try asking your PPC provider for a real genuine search query report that is emailed directly from the Adwords account. This report includes specifically what phrases were searched/clicked and what the actual click spend was on that phrase. A Bullshit PPC company will refuse to send you this. They may tell you ‘we aren’t obliged’ to provide that kind of detailed report (as I was). Even though it takes a minute to set up so it is emailed to you automatically every month. They won’t send you the report because then you would see exactly what was going on and how pointless and wasteful the whole campaign is.

It’s not Your Account either

The campaign will NOT be set up on your google account. It should be. If it’s set up on your account it can be linked to your analytics. You would be able to pause the campaign. You would be able to view the reports. You would still have the history if you ever cancelled the involvement. You can revoke their access and get another provider to take it over. The Bullshit PPC provider doesn’t want you to be able to do all that. A good PPC provider will set up your adwords campaign on an account that YOU own – they will manage your account through their ‘client centre’ (which GOogle set up especially for PPC providers to manage client adwords campaigns).

So is all PPC Bullshit?

No. Of course not. But some PPC Providers are. PPC is a specialist provision just as SEO is. There are bad SEO’s and there are bad PPC providers.

Like ANY service that you are going to pay for, do your research and try to understand what you are buying. Try a search for “Company Name Scam”. If the company has been going a while there WILL be noise in forums and ’scammer information websites’. If there is NOTHING about the company anywhere and they appear to be new (they could have renamed) you will have to dig some more so speak to your IT provider, ask for advice from your local chamber and business networks. Don’t just ask once, ask again. Don’t just get one persons opinion. Get three or more.

DIY?

It’s actually not hard to set up a PPC campaign for a modest budget targetting a small group of phrases. Yes I know it’s easy me saying that, but if you were to spend a little time reading up about it you can do it. Alternatively, pay someone to set it up for you on YOUR google account. While they’re at it they might even check you have analytics installed and link the campaign to that. The bullshit PPC companies set up campaigns like a factory production line, once it’s been set up it stored, shelved or shipped out. So why not just set it up yourself and make sure your £3 daily budget actually gets used on clicks? Just remember that going down the route of self managing your campaign requires that you study so you know what you are doing. Just having a campaign running does not mean you will make money from it. In truth, however well chosen the phrases, I can’t imagine that a budget of £3 per day would be worth the time and effort for the return.

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